May 21, 2010

it is finished (my week that is)


 Oh, can I tell you how incredibly exhausted I am? I worked 60 hours this week on my Healthcare Systems Engineering Workshop. I pretty much organized 22 schools totaling to 75 guests who visited our Department for this special workshop.

I organize entire events. I maintain a website. Yes, I answer the phone and schedule meetings, but I am in charge of all of our finances. I help create budgets. I schedule travel for way too many people. I do a lot. Usually, I am not overwhelmed with this job at all. And, next week, I will feel fine once again.
You know what else is awful, several people complimented me and the event, but all I can dwell on is that once person who was not completely satisfied with my performance during the week.

I used to joke about how I am an affirmation junky. I love compliments, but especially from strangers or people in authority, like say, those who control my paycheck. 

I know.... you all are thinking what a nut-job I am. Yes, I am an emotional basketcase. Sometimes, especially online, bloggers tend to act as if everything is just so sunny and perfect, I guess that is because most of you want to be inspired and have your spirits lifted. Sometimes, though, I just need to be real. 

Some of you know that I have been in a funk recently. Did you know that I have struggled with depression for years? I have good times and bad times. Since I have started this blog, I have been mostly happy. Recently, however, I feel so restless. 

I went to the doctor today to ask about advice for an eating plan. My stupid doctor said that I should either get on the South Beach Diet, or accept my new larger self.... CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I cried a little, which made him uncomfortable. He then asked me if people call me fat often.....  needless to say, I am going to find a new doctor. I do not think it is ever an option to give up on anything, especially your health and wellness. So I guess I still have a little fight left in me, just to show him what is what.

This is what has been on my mind recently.

Sorry it is just ramblings, but I like blogging, and sharing what is in my heart. 

Thanks so much for reading.

-Stacie